Frozen Four

I try not to make this blog about sports (mostly) because it's my job and I already blog about sports over there (here and here, shameless plug). But today I wanted to bring to the attention of all of you out there (all 2 of you) that The Frozen Four is kicking off this week. What in the hell is the Frozen Four you might ask? Well it's the NCAA hockey tournament, think of March Madness but for poor, white people.

16 teams from such schools as Yale, Cornell and Princeton hitting the ice, kicking ass and losing teeth. See up here in Canada the mystique of college sports is lost (except for Western) due, in my opinion of the prolifiration of minor hockey. I understand the business behind minor hockey and why it exists but Canadian college athletic programs, which should be built around the crown jewel of hockey, aren't able to recruit any Canadian talent because of the creep, leering, uncle that is junior hockey.

So I look south to right my hockey wrongs. Listen the NCAA isn't the cleanest orginazation in the history books but at least the kids have a sembelence of getting an education while being exploited. In Canada these kids miss out on the chance of a college education AND get pimped out across Buttfuck, Ontario and Nowheresville, Quebec.

Sports Rant 2009.

The games start tomorrow at 3 pm. If you're in the states I think ESPN Classic and ESPN U are carrying the games. If you're in canada the games are on LeafsTV. Tomorrow's games are:

Air Force-(4) Michigan at 3pm

(3) Denver-Miami of Ohio 5:30pm

Minnesota Duluth-Princeton 9pm

Personally I'm rooting for the University of New Hampshire. The Wildcats are kind of a dark horse to win but I know people who went there and my parents live the next town over, therefore I root for them. They also have Flyers prospect James Van Riemsdyk (12 goals, 15 assists and 2 game winning goal this season) and Phil Kessel's little brother!

Princeton also pretty good this year. Like my Tigers. Wonder if they'll use the back door cut in hockey? (skip to 3:30 if you must but the whole video is worth it)



So anyway if you're out there and you like hockey give the Frozen Four some love and tune in. Even if you don't like hockey, watch these games and maybe it will change your mind.

Here us the schedule and bracket:




Some highlights from last year:

Context is Overrated

BEST. GIFT. EVER.

Worked last night scripting highlights. Came home and there was a package waiting for me on the kitchen counter. It was from my Uncle Ross, a judge in London, Ontario. I had no idea what it could be. For sure I thought it was a book; probably military history, or something of that ilk.



So I rip the sum-bitch open and what do I find?


Oh god...so good.

What better way to say "you know what? I kinda dig that new President of ours" than a fucking gold rimmed plate? There is no better way, that is the best way to do that.

But now i'm afraid that I won't know where to stop. I fear that this may start a slippery slope of white-trash home decorations that will have my apartment looking like a trailer in no time. That is something I have no problem with...


What home is complete without the greatest drug dealer of all time?


2 words (one hyphenated). Aqua-fucking man. Wait that sounds kinda gross.


Pete Rose, you may haved bet on baseball but fuck it we'll give you a plate too!


Obama you're not the only president to get his own plate.


Kristi the Yamagooch, the greatest olympian.

So I guess the only thing I'm missing for my white-THRASH apartment is this...

I Scream You Scream We All Scream For Ice Cream!!!

Great news today on this beautiful day here in the Big Smoke. Jim Jaramusch, famed director of such films as Down By Law (seen above), Broken Flowers, Ghost Dog, Stranger Than Paradise and the severly underrated Mystery Train, has released the trailer for his new movie The Limits of Control.



Sick. Can't wait. Jaramusch is one of my favorite directors and comes with some of the best scenes, the best dialouge and best movies of any director out there. Really looking forward to seeing this one...

Also last night saw this crazy French horror movie called Sheitan (Satan). It was good. In terms of horror flicks the French are quickly replacing the Japanese as the most fucked up.

Enjoy...

TO you got PWNED!!!!

Hahaha. Terrell Owens, NFL wide receiver and general chump bitch, got his ass cut late last night by the Dallas Cowboys. As a fan of ONE of Owens' former teams (The mighty Philadelphia Eagles) I could not be happier that this team-killing tumor of a human being got released. No matter where Owens will end up he will, most certainly, end up pissing off the coach, offensive coordinator and his quarterback. Here are just some of Owens' highlights.


Bitch Move


The McNabb-Owens feud EXPLAINED! Nice to know that McNabb was right, bitches!


Candid talk of TO talking shit on Keyshawn...awww hell naw...

Enjoy...except you TO you fucking suck

Say NO to Reggaeton!

An imporant PSA from Capone and Noreaga



Enjoy

BEST. STORY. EVER.

This story contains, as Julie Andrews might say, a few of my favorie things...



Lesbians!


Weed!


Rectal searches!


White Nissans!

Enjoy.

That's It; I'm Moving to Detroit!

I wish life were still actually like this...Let's travel back to the 80's!



Enjoy

Black Irish Bass Playing Lead Singers

I don't want to make this blog about people's birthdays. We had Ric Flair the other day, mainly because the man is an American Hero. Today we have British guitar player Snowy White.



Now I don't know much about Snowy. I do know that today he turns 61 years old and his name is an adjective. I instantly like people who are named after weird parts of speech like verbs ("have you met my wife Kick?") or adverbs ("Often, no desert until you finish your vegetables").

I also know Snowy was the guitarist for the best rock band the world has ever seen/heard: Thin Lizzy.


They sounds just as good as they look

Thin Lizzy were a metal band out of Dublin, Ireland and were led by Phil Lynott. Lynott's voice and leadership directed the band to fame and fortune in the States. They also kicked A LOT of ass.

Take some time on this cold March day to rock the fuck out to some leather-pantalooned, Irish cock-rock!

Enjoy it!









Also in Metal news; Spinal Tap is getting together again to go on a "Unwigged and Unplugged" tour. Hope their accoustic guitars go to 11.

Movies That Have No Business Being Made

This is what happens when they attack...


Haven't you ever noticed Chrisian Bale looks like Kermit the Frog?

And that this "2 NFL Players Lost at Sea" story reminds me of a juiced-up Gilligans Island...




Too soon? Enjoy#

Zach Parise; A Goddamned Superstar

Let me preface the post with this; Hockey is for poor, white people. That being said at my job I tend to watch a lot of hockey, not only that I am, in fact, poor as well as white.

In watching all this ball-puck I see lots of different teams and basically every player. I get to see players and their very worst and their very best.

Zach Parise, New Jersey Devils left wing, this season has made a serious bid to achieve "Goddamned Star" status.



He's not European or French-Canadian (so the Don Cherry quota is filled). No, Parise is a true blooded American, and we all know these colors don't run...


If the flag says it, it's true!

Parise trails Alexander "commrade" Ovechkin for the league lead in goals scored by 8, Ovechkin has 46 while Parise's got 38. Parise is also 4th in the league in points with 77. I know I'm throwing a lot of numbers out there at you. So, instead, lets watch go to the video tape.











Just wanted to let the rest of the world in on the Zach Parise Phenomenon. Listen I know he won't win the MVP or whatever the fuck the trophey is called in the NHL. Ovechkin is way too good this year but if Russian attacked the United States and Canada and we deported all Russians back to their icy homeland Parise would win it.

Speaking of fan-athlete bromance a long time Eagle, Brian Dawkins, signed with the Denver Broncos over the weekend. The news has left 5 million Philadelphians in a state of shock. Life, of course, will continue but that's not to say Dawkins won't be missed.

Enjoy...